Will The Real Badger Please Stand Up?

This is the guy.

The cause for much fun and frivolity in the office this week. What we learned is that even if you know it's around it can still startle you. We had a couple repeat victims in the bathroom today. We also learned that our bookkeeper can't pee with the badger staring at her.

There are certain people who can't be in on practical jokes. One of the bosses heard that I had it set up to get the IT guy. He (the boss) couldn't wait, he had to prompt it. It failed miserably. Even after I told him it wouldn't work and asked him not to say anything, he went ahead and said something. It went something like this:

Boss: "Hey IT guy, I've got something I need your help with in the server room." (first clue it'll fail because the boss has no business in the server room)

IT Guy: "Ok"

I know it's going to fail so I head downstairs.

IT guy enters the server room, where the badger is hidden mostly under his motorcycle jacket, as the boss waits outside.

IT Guy: "So, what did you need?" (he doesn't see it, because he's not supposed to until he grabs his jacket)

Boss: "Uh... well..." (oops, should have been prepared with an answer)

IT Guy: "So?"

Boss: "Hey Bonham, where is it?"

IT Guy: "Oh, are you trying to get me with the badger?"

I grumble as I walk down the stairs.

Later IT Guy admits that it would have scared him if he found it later.

Thanks boss.

When it comes to practical jokes, patience pays.

Badger Day

Without an audio recording there is no way for me to get this post right. It is truly a "you had to be there" post but I'll do my best.

Imagine walking into a bathroom and seeing a badger.


There has been a little practical joke war going on in the office between our receptionist and one of the guys in the warehouse. I'm not quite sure how it started but it has been fun to watch. I learned about it when I saw Warehouse Guy's clip board and noticed that it was decorated with puff paint flowers in pink & purple.

Today the war was escalated. I was holed up in the conference room for a good portion of the day. The purchasing guy took a potty break and when he came back he was beside himself. He told us that there was a stuffed badger in the bathroom that scared the crap out of him. We found out that the badger was placed in the bathroom by our receptionist who was the first victim of the cleverly placed badger. Mind you it is a real badger stuffed by a taxidermist not a stuffed toy.

Later I was in my office and heard this loud "aaaahhhh". It was my boss. He walked in on the badger. Ah ha ha. I about passed out from laughing so hard. I knew exactly what happened. Such a good little badger.

The badger was the talk of the day, as was the bosses "aaaahhhh" which he understates as a loud sigh. Well, I am here to tell you that I was one floor down and three offices away and I heard it.

If you aren't getting the funnyness of this that is because you had to be there.

Dinner In The Sky

Okay so check this out. My sister Mo sent an email out today with pictures of this event. Unreal. How would you like to eat here?

Click on the link above and check out the pictures page. Very cool idea.

If my quick in the head addition and currency conversion is accurate you would be looking at a $15,000 bill.

Brian's Needs

So I got this little game from Kathi who got it from Tracey.

Google you name plus the word "needs" after it to see what you come up with. This is what I need:

• Brian needs to workout! - am I on candid camera?
• Brian needs to communicate more effectively and stop being negative. - Get off my frick'n back! How's that for communication?
• Brian needs food, badly. - Uh, see the first need.
• Brian Needs a New Mac - But none of my cool software will work on it...
• Brian.Needs.A.Job - How 'bout that?
• Brian [needs stimulation] - That's a little creepy.
• Brian needs…absolutely nothing, he’s perfect just the way he is! - Yes! or no.
• Brian Needs More than the Regular School Year. - NO CHANCE!
• Brian Needs Love Too!! - Yes I do.
  
• Brian Needs to Wipe Again. - Eww!

I types them as I sees them.

House Plans

If I was to be able to afford to sit down and design a house for my family I would put in as many secret passageways & rooms as I could. I always thought this would be cool.

As a kid my grandma's house had a closet that had an entrance in the hallway and from a bedroom. It wasn't secret but it was still cool. We'd run through it and hide in it and scare each other in it.

I'd love to pull a book down on a shelf to open a secret passage behind the bookshelf. This secret passage would lead to a secret room that only we would know about.

Trapdoors would probably be an essential too. Pull back the rug and wa-la there it is the entrance to a passageway that leads to the shed.

Speaking of Old...

Tonight between 9 and 11 I will kick back and relax to the new Knight Rider. It will probably not be a regular watch but I thought I'd check it out for old times sake.

Old Bands are New Bands

Some of the oldies and goodies are coming back. I saw in the paper today that The Police will be in Washington with Elvis Costello for a live concert. I also read that the B-52's are putting out another album. R.E.M. has new music coming out on 4/1/08.

In the last couple years I've seen Queen (with Paul Rogers singing) and Guns & Roses (aka just Axl Rose and some other guys) in concert. Van Halen was in town a few months ago for a live gig. And I heard that Led Zepplin is doing a show in London (sans John Bonham of course). There are probably many more out there that are doing things but these are the ones that stick out in my head.

The news that I read that made me want to post this little diddy is this ---> EXTREME is back together and is working on a new album! Oh yeah! I know one house that will own a copy. Some of you may snicker but I loved these guys back in the day. Back in college I had hallmates that used to blast these guys down the hall for all to hear. I never complained.

Confession

I am loving American Gladiator!

I watched the original and I am watching the new one. As a matter of fact we watch it together as a family. It is totally kid friendly and my kids get into it. My daughter squeals when Titan shakes his thighs. The other night Brianna was at a friends house and was due home at 7 and Alex kept saying "I can't wait until Brianna gets home". So I asked him "Why? Because you miss her?" and he says "No Dad! So we can watch Gladiator." "Oh."

Favorite new Gladiators:

• Titan - His sportsmanship and postive attitude is great.
• Crush - She is a cutie who could easily kick my arse.
• Wolf - Duh! He is just too fun. I love his taunting.

Sunday night is the final and since we have church that evening we will be taping it. Yes I said taping! Get off my back.

Do you watch?

Driving Daze

I used to like driving. I may still.

Lately I just find myself just wanting to get there. I have a half an hour commute each way to and from work. In the past I thought of this as my time. I'd listen to music, podcasts, silence, pray, think, or whatever caught my fancy. Now it is greuling. I just want to get there.

Move out of my way you slow ass people I've got somewhere to get to.

I don't know why but I've got the driving blues. I let my wife drive now when we go places 'cause I just don't want to.

It isn't my car. I really like my car. Which by the way just turned 180,000 miles old. 150,000 of those miles driven by me.

I just don't know. Maybe someday I'll be able to use a transporter like on Star Trek.

November's Coming

If in November it comes down to McCain vs. Clinton or McCain vs. Obama I won't be voting.

Seriously.

It's no lesser of two evils or Democrat vs. Republican. It is same vs. same. Who cares. At that point it won't matter who wins. As much as they say they are agents of change they are not. They are all the same. Four years from now nothing will be different. Nothing. Except that we'll be four years older.

I am a huge proponent of the democratic system but I think it is getting a bit stale in the American political system. That is why I am supporting Ron Paul. Just because he is not in the lead I will not give up on him. Run Ron, Run.

Home Safe

Brrr! We made it home early this morning. Thanks Mrs. Villa for the ride, you are too kind.

After the red-eye a four hour nap was due.

Honestly not a single complaint about the trip worth speaking. I guess if I had to speak one it would be the lack of sleep due to my daughters sleep talking. She talked, shouted, and cried in her sleep. I never knew she was so bad.

We had a spectacular time all-in-all. The big island is a beautiful place with lot's to see.

The last day of the trip was spent at the beach playing and snorkeling before heading home to catch the last three quarters of the big game. The last snorkeling spot was my favorite. Lots of areas to explore with plenty of wildlife to see.

As much as I try not to think of it, tomorrow it is back to work. Yuck. I could get used to this not working gig.

Last Day

Today is our last day in Hawaii. We leave late tonight on the red-eye back to Portland.

Yesterday we went to the north end of the island to see the Waipi'o Valley but were washed out by the rain. The Hilo side got 18.5 inches in 24 hours yesterday. Below is a picture of the valley as far as we could see it.

We stopped by the beach were Lorretta Lynn's house is (or was since she no longer lives there). The kids played for a bit in the surf before we headed off to the market.

Big treats! The local favorite... shaved ice.
Our Hawaiian kids with Aunt Sue & Uncle Jim.

I gave underwater photography a try with a disposable camera. The results are less than what I expected. There is no focus so you get what you get, plus it is hard to aim the camera as you will see.

Here's Alex giving the thumbs up to snorkeling.
Here is the girl.
This is a small example of some of the fish we saw.
Here is Kathi & her mom with one of the many turtles we saw.

We have had a great time and are already planning our next visit. Well it's off to the beach for the last time this trip. Hopefully everone else will be focused on the big game and leave the beach to us.

Another Good Day

Guess what... we went to the beach today. Here it is. The kids played with mom and uncle Jim in the sand.


I had a rest after some snorkeling.

This is an example of Hawaiian graffiti. It is white coral on the black lava. You see it all along the roadside. People send out greeting and messages to others or just leave their names.
Here the kids are playing with poi balls before the luau we went to tonight.

Here's Kathi goofing off with the poi balls.
This is the pig being uncovered from the dirt oven it was cooked in. Brianna couldn't watch, she was afraid to see a giant dead pig.

The luau was quite fun. Due to the combination of darkness and a small camera I didn't get any photos of the dancers. I am sure Kathi is upset I didn't get a photo of the Samoan fire dancer. She was quite taken with him. She'll live.

I am sure tomorrow will bring another adventure.