Killing Goliath

Trend Setting?

2012-01-23T09:58:00.000-08:00

You've heard of planking, owling and Tebowing, right? Well I think my daughter wants to start the next trend, it will be called Umbrellamanning. So if one night your watching Portlandia and they run a spoof on it you can thank Brianna.

I sense that you're confused. Let me help you by showing you this

This is Umbrella Man, actually titled Allow Me, and he's located in Pioneer Courthouse Square downtown Portland, OR.

So grab your umbrella and show me your pictures.

Mustachio!!!

2012-01-14T23:44:00.001-08:00

I post this because it's funny!

New Year

2012-01-01T00:25:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2012... I am going to kick your ass!

In The Kitchen

2011-12-16T08:36:00.000-08:00

Preparedfor life. That is what I want my kids to be before they move out of thehouse. Along with teaching them to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be kindand loving, to seek after life, we also want them to be self-sufficient. With that last point in mind we have taught them to do their own laundry,to help out with daily chores around the house and also how to cook. Wedon't want them leaving the house only knowing how to make a bowl of cereal (myspecialty).

With this in mindwe are beginning to have them help out in the kitchen with meals. Acouple of nights ago my daughter was assigned to make dinner on her own. It was a simple taco meal which my wife thought was a good entry levelmeal to start with. She did great. It didn't go without a few speedbumps but in the end it tasted good and filled our bellies. The best partwas the show she put on during her meal preparation.

I must admit, mykids will not leave my care without a sense of humor. This they both havein healthy doses. The show my daughter put on was not fully intentionalbut hilarious nonetheless. I laughed as I watched her try to shake therefried beans out of the can, which if you've tried this you know it's notgoing to happen. I told her she had to scoop them out first so she stucka spoon in, loosened them up and then proceeded to shake the can again. As you can see in the blurry (because I was laughing so hard I couldn'thold still) photo below the beans missed the pot.

One more lesson Imust teach her is weapon selection because on this night she chose poorly. With all the sharp knives available to brandish she chose the rubbercoated can opener to protect her kingdom. "This is my kitchen weaponand I'll use it on you if you try to come in!" she yells followed by amenacing cackle.

And although she'dbarely talk to me last night because I won't let her, at 14, get gauges put inher ears I love her dearly and more than she'll ever know.

I Made These

2011-12-01T21:05:00.001-08:00

If you don't believe that pulling out your camera can bring people together I want to offer proof that it does. Here is a 14 year old girl and her 10 year old brother. People, do you see that?!?! She's actually touching him!Proof!

Yeah, this is the fruits of my loins (_whatever that means_) in a photo together where one isn't glaring at the other, putting up the bunny ears (and no I didn't Photoshop them out) or frowning at the shear displeasure of being on the same planet.

Haystack Rock

2011-11-21T12:08:00.001-08:00

Got up early yesterday to head out to the coast to shoot some pictures. I got this picture of Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach right before the sun came up. It was an amazing morning. Since it's towards the end of November I didn't expect a sunny day but that's what I got. It was still cold but the sun made it all worth it.

Prints available @ www.brianbonhamphotography.com

Girly Girl

2011-11-17T11:00:00.001-08:00

It feels like yesterday that I was changing diapers and getting up in the middle of the night to feed her. Now I hear her talking about what kind of car she wants when she can drive (it's a purple or blue VW Bug depending on which day it is for those curious) and what kind of career she wants to pursue (as of yesterday she wants to be a bass player in a band - she's taking lessons). Time flies, it really does. As much as I look forward to seeing the woman she becomes, I'll seriously miss the days of her being a little girl.

I was playing with my flash last night and thought the mirror would be a challenge. Instead it was the photos she's got on her mirror that ended up being the biggest challenge.

The Boy

2011-11-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

I took this last night while playing with my camera's remote flash function. Until yesterday I didn't know it could do that. I processed it in B/W because I could.

Photography

2011-11-03T14:34:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure who still looks at this blog but it will be slim pickings on posts for some time. The time I'd normally spend here has been devoted to two hobbies I can wrap my head and stomach around: photography and brewing.

My photo's are available in print at the following website - www.brianbonhamphotography.com

For the month of November all my prints are available at 25% off using the promotion code PRMMKG.

Portland Pano

2011-10-11T14:44:00.000-07:00

On my way to shoot the Portland Marathon this past Sunday I stopped at one of my favorite places along the Eastbank Esplanade and took this panorama shot of Portland.

Hawai'i in September

2011-09-23T01:15:00.000-07:00

Hawai'i has been awesome. Jim and Susan are great hosts and have been very good to us. I hope to return the favor to them someday.

Spending two weeks with Alex has been awesome. What a great kid. I couldn't be more proud to be his dad. I'm missing Kathi and Brianna terribly but know that what they are doing is worth the absence. My longing to see them exposes my love for the more and more.

During our time here in Hawai'i I've been stretching my wings as a photographer. I've been trying to move beyond the typical snapshot and have tried to capture images that display the beauty or uniqueness of this place. So far I've not found that to be an easy task. Here are some of the photos I have taken.

For more images please find me on Google+ where you can see my whole collection.

Goodbye for now

2011-09-10T21:58:00.000-07:00

Today Alex and I took the girls to the airport. We said our goodbye's and now won't hear from them or see them for two weeks. I know that worry is a wasted thing but I can't help but to worry a little. Sending my ladies off to foreign lands that are out of my control for two weeks is tough. Maybe I'm a control freak or maybe I just love these ladies more than you can imagine. Either way, they're gone for now.

Tomorrow Alex and I will travel to Hawaii for almost two weeks. We are going to paradise to see our sis and bro-in-law in one of the most beautiful places in the world. This will help with my worry for the girls. I'm bringing our snorkel gear and my camera so there will be plenty to take my mind off things. I love my ladies and would trade a trip to Hawaii for the two weeks with them any day.

Portland's Odd

2011-08-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

One of the popular phrases on this city is "Keep Portland Weird". Well, it does a good job of that.

Here's a few odd shots from our walk this past weekend.

This is one of a number of manikin's positioned on the building we parked next to. Why are they there? I don't know... it's just Portland.

I think every city has one of these guys. But do they have one that does contact juggling?

This is from my sons favorite booth at Saturday Market. I think it's called Spoonman. Everything in the booth is made from everyday utensils.

Portland Rewind

2011-08-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

I love Portland. Seriously, it is a city that never gets boring.

Sunday we decided to take one of our favorite walks. We start out by OMSI and walk North along the Eastside Promanade and cross the river on the Steel Bridge. Then we meander through Saturday Market and then walk the waterfront heading South. We then cross the river back to OMSI on the Hawthorne Bridge. It is a good walk in so many ways.

This time I had my camera with me so I grabbed some photos along the way. I'll share more later but for now I want to share these two. When I looked through all the photos these two just seemed to belong to a different generation. So I did a little tweaking to give them that old feel.

I call this group The Vagabond Players. I know they have their own name but I like mine better.

I love the contrast in size between the boat on the left and the powerhouse of the boat on the right.

Big Trucks and Guns

2011-08-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a fun filled day!

We started by meeting my sister and her kids in Beaverton for Big Truck Day at Conestoga. Besides the constant honking of the horns and the waits in line to sit in a truck for three seconds it was a good morning activity for us. The kids loved the trucks. Alex's favorite were the limousines.

We had to cut out early because we had a previous engagement to take our friend Megan shooting. So we packed up the arsenal, met up with Megan and headed out to the Tillamook Forest for some target practice. There we blew some holes in some cans and bottles we found laying around until Ranger Roger came and told us that it was a misdemeanor to shoot anything but paper targets. We explained that we were only shooting what we found laying around and he didn't care. Since our time was running short anyway due to a work schedule we decided to pack it in. We were good citizens and got a garbage bag from Ranger Roger and packed out someone else's garbage. I love the spot we found so we'll return another day with some paper targets.

Here's some pics of the day,

Alex adding to the horn noise of the day. Who can blame him. How many times have you tried to get a trucker to honk his horn.

Natalie being kind to her brothers by just pretending to pull the horn.

Aidan standing in the hornless fork truck brought by Parr Lumber.

Nathaniel curled up in the wheel of the big Monster Truck.

King Alex chillin' in the back of his Hummer Limo!

Jen found a friend to get a picture with.

Megan cracking off a shot with the Sig Sauer P230.

Yeah, best not mess with us.

Amos Lee

2011-08-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

All my life I feel like I've been drawn to good stories and good story tellers. My taste in stories is very eclectic. In books I've loved anything from true life stories of amazing people to what I refer to as mind-candy fiction stories. Music has a different kind of story. It's not always told A to B and isn't always contained in one song. Sometimes you've got to sit and listen to the whole album to get the complete story.

I've always considered myself a rocker. I love hard rock, metal, and anything where the guitars scream louder than the vocalist. But deep down I love music that tells a story. As a kid our family would travel in our van for vacations and on the road AM radio dominated. I remember songs from people like Johnny Cash, Harry Chapin, Roger Whitaker and the like. Their songs always told a story. Stories have meaning thus the songs have meaning. Meaning bring longevity. There are singers and bands who we call "one hit wonders" and their songs have a flash but then fade. Singers and bands who tell stories have a staying power that lasts generations.

Lately I've been reaching out to hear more stories in music and have come across some amazing talent. As I said before the stories are not always told in a clear way during the song but sometimes come through in the album as a whole. Adele does this and does this well. She was in town last night and I would have loved to see her. Tonight I get to see a storyteller of the modern generation. Amos Lee a young man with an old soul. My friend Stephen told me about him one day and since then I've not stopped listening to him. The concert is outdoors and the weather will be amazing.

Here is a beautiful and honest song with a very cool video to go along with it. Listen, watch and enjoy Amos Lee's Flower.

Look Who's 70

2011-08-09T17:55:00.000-07:00

I know it's not polite to reveal a woman's age but my mom should be proud to be 70. Look how good she looks. Right?!? I know.

Some clowning around during picture time.

Some loving on the grandkids.

Love you mom!

Great Photo Video

2011-07-27T08:31:00.001-07:00

For all you photographers out there, you'll love this one.

Leave Me from Ryan Dunlap on Vimeo.

NASCAR!

2011-07-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

I've seen NASCAR on TV for years and have always wanted to see it live. This past Sunday I got that opportunity. Our company sponsored a car in the Pro-Series this year so when NASCAR came to Portland I got to go. Alex and I had pit passes so we got an up close and personal look at the cars, pits and people that make these races happen.

The sights, sounds and smells were all that I expected them to be. Even though this series is kind of the minor leagues of NASCAR it was still impressive. This also provided a great venue for some picture taking. Here's a few of my favorites.

Here's Alex in front of the track at our seats.

This is one of my favorite shots I've taken of all time!

One of the NASCAR ladies. All of the ladies holding the umbrellas for the drivers to keep them out of the sun were dressed in a 50's bombshell style. I think the tattoos just added to their cuteness.

Here is our car! We got the hood for this race.

Andrew Ranger is the driver of the 35 car. He had the lead for a while at the end of the race but blew his engine with a few short laps to go.

It was a beautiful summer day at the track.

Motivation

2011-07-19T09:24:00.001-07:00

I have a little section next to my desk at work filled with reminders of what's important and why I sit here for 10 hours a day.

There are pictures of my kids.

Our engagement photo.

A picture of me and Kathi on a dock.

A family photo that is a bit out dated.

A Beaker finger puppet from my sistet.

A love note from my son.

A bobble-head frog from my daughter.

A hulu girl from Hawaii.

A picture of me and Kat Von D.

And a pirate.

Close for One Year

2011-07-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

Friday my sister and her family arrived into town for a year's stay while her husband serves in Iraq. It is a happy and sad occasion at the same time. We are happy to have them close for a while but sad that it's at the expense of being without Jonathan for that time.

Yesterday we spent the day with them down at my mom and dads and had a great time. Here's the day in pictures.

Jonathan will be in town for two weeks so we'll try to pack in with him what we can. Guns, whiskey and motorcycles top the list of our shared interests so we'll see what kind of trouble we can get into.

Traffic Games

2011-07-08T07:35:00.000-07:00

Imagine that your driving behind someone who thinks that 45 is okay in a 55 zone. What's your response? Frustration? Probably. I know it is for me.

I'm a talker while I drive, even when I'm alone. I talk to other drivers, sometimes I'm thanking them or complimenting their good driving but most often I'm cursing their entire existence. Many days I question the State's decision to give some people the license to drive.

I know I'm not alone in this and that is why I now share with you my new driving game. My working title is "Which Way Are You Turning? 'Cause I'm Going The Other Way! Traffic Game" My title needs a little work.

This is how the game works. When your driving behind the "45 in the 55" person and you feel the frustration building, you follow until you get to the next traffic exchange. Once they let you know which way their going you go a different way. For example, if you come to a four way stop and they choose to go straight then you either turn right or left. Simple as that. Game on. The rules are simple and the results vary. Score is kept in your head and the other person never even knows they were playing your game.

Scoring varies. You can dock points from the other driver if they don't signal their turn intentions ahead of time or if they even bother at all. Remember, they drive 45 in a 55 so moving their hand to the turn signal to engage it might waste too much energy. After all, energy savings is their goal I assume since 55 might eat up too much gas. Back to the game... Making the move to go another way is a victory point in the game. You get out from behind the annoyance and carry on your speed limit way. "But Brian, this puts me off my course and will take longer for me to get to my destination" I knew you'd say this. It's okay. The bonus points for this move is the new scenery you experience and the challenge of getting back on course or finding a new route. You can add bonus points for how few turns it takes you to get back to where you were going or based upon whether or not this is a road you've been on before or not.

I can see by the look on your face that you don't like my game. Too bad. Maybe you just don't fully understand it. Try it one day, maybe you'll change your mind. If you don't then you'll continue to drive behind the annoying guy who knows your behind him cursing his name and irritated. I will continue my game, lower my stress level, learn new routes and streets and free myself from the 45 in the 55 driver who thinks that the world is theirs to annoy.

Ignored

2011-07-06T19:42:00.001-07:00

Owen is ignoring me.

Look at me dog! LOOK.AT.ME!!!

Beach Day

2011-06-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

This past Thursday I took the day off to spend it at the beach with the kids and my brothers family. We had a great time together. Sadly Kathi had to work that day so she missed out on the rare sunshine at the coast.

We spent the day in Lincoln City next to the D river which is proclaimed to be the shortest river in the world. Rocks were piled in the river, stones were skipped in the surf, waves were jumped and kite fliers were poked fun at. A full day if I say so myself.

Here are some photographic highlights of the day.

All you need at the beach is a good bucket. And apparently sunscreen which I painfully found out later.

Alex loves the sand. (please know that he had plenty of sunscreen on and his skin is still this pale)

Kev bombing the kids picture.

"Mom, where's your feet?"

Toothless and happy!

Another use for a sundress.

Jump!

The group helping rid the shores of the rock.

Skev!

Skipping rocks in the surf!

Great to see you Bonham's!

Hip Dads

2011-06-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

In honor of the dads we'll be celebrating this coming weekend I offer up a little music video.

By the way, this was made by a church. Who says Christians can't be funny.

SubUrban Art Kids

2011-06-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Urban art (from Latin urbanus, itself from urbs (“city”)) is a style of art that relates to cities and city life often done by artists who live in or have a passion for city life. In that way urban art combines street art and graffiti and is often used to summarize all visual art forms arising in urban areas, being inspired by urban architecture or thematizing urban live style. - taken from Wikipedia's Urban Art page.

Yesterday our kids and some friends and neighbors decided to add a little urban art to our street out here in the suburbs of Portland. Instead of the typical chalk outline they used some tape which I think was a good medium since it made it stand out so well under the street light in the dark.

Please note the kill shot "X" designations on the outlines. A little morbid but it is urban art... right?!?

Baker's Photos Part 2

2011-06-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

Here are pictures of Stephen and his kids. It's easy to take good pictures when you have such good subjects.

I love to see their faces so close together because it shows how much she looks like her daddy.

Baker's Photos Part 1

2011-06-04T17:49:00.001-07:00

Today I got the opportunity to expand my photo skills a bit and do some portrait work. My friend wanted some photos of he and his kids and I got the privileged of taking them. He knew of this run down house west from here and we used that as the background for the pictures.

Here are the photos I got of the kids. I'll show you more of the rest in a later post.

And this is the one I'm most proud of. What great looking kids!

Birthday Paint

2011-06-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

Brianna turned fourteen this past month and for her birthday she wanted paint for her room. This Monday her and I tackled the project. We covered pink with more pink. Her old paint scheme was pink with a white sponge pattern on it. The new scheme was inspired by our friend Krista's office.

Here's the girly working hard on the darker of the two pinks. She brushed while I rolled.

Here's the finished product. She is very pleased which makes me happy.

Happy Birthday girly!

Amos in August

2011-05-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

This video only gets me more excited to see Amos Lee in August. His album Mission Bell is just brilliant.

The Face

2011-05-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

Facebook or The Face as an old friend likes to call it can really get on my nerves. I have a love hate relationship with The Face. I love the fact that I can keep in touch with so many people at all levels of life no matter the distance. I love that I can share fun things, pictures, events with people who don't live close or whom I don't see often. I love that when my friends band is playing I can advertise and support his venture. I love that people post funny things and interesting things and thoughtful things. I love seeing pictures of people I don't see everyday. I love certain things. Other things I could do without.

What bugs the shit out of me is the vague postings. Pardon or don't pardon the French but seriously, if you're going to post something make it mean something, don't make me guess or ask. I have a very vivid imagination and can make up the best of stories for your vague posting if you want. Vague postings just make people want to know what you really mean which makes me think you want people to ask. If you post "I'm sad ;-(" or "I wish I could do that over" or "I feel like a big stinky pile of poo today, don't ask why" you are really just asking for people to ask "why?" or "what happened?" or "but I want to ask why because you posted something vague".

On this same note... I know that you know when you post something on someone else's wall that others can see it. I know you are really posting that post so others will see and not just the person who's wall you posted on. How do I know this? Because I do. And also because if you didn't intend for others to see it you could message it to them privately or change the view settings the them only.

I get the game people play, I just don't like it. The Face is good and fun but it also is shitty, self-serving and foolish at times.

19 and Life to Go

2011-05-24T14:44:00.001-07:00

Nineteen years ago I married this lady.

Nineteen years later she still puts up with me. There's got to be an award for that.

I love you lady.

Darth Attitude

2011-05-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

This cracked me up. We knew Darth could be evil but did you know he could display such a snarky attitude?

Smooching Joel

2011-05-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

Monday I got a shot of Kathi smooching another man. I'm watching you Joel.

Capturing the Spirit

2011-05-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes photos can just capture the spirit of a person. Not in the way that we've heard that some natives think that photos steal their spirit but in the way the their spirit, who they are inside, is captured by the photo.

Monday I took the day off and we took the kids to the aquarium in Newport. We had a great day together. Although the Newport aquarium is small, it's displays are wonderful and we enjoyed each and everyone of them.

Before we took off for dinner at the Rogue Brewery we stopped off at the beach to play and take some pictures. Here are a pictures of each kid that I feel captures a bit of their spirit.

First is Brianna. She is our tenderheart. Compassion is one of her gifts. She is the best kind of friend a person can ask for as she'll put her friends before herself any day of the week. We all wish we had friends like her. This photo captures her sweet side. It is peaceful, not aggressive. It is bright and colorful, not dark. It's very Brianna.

Now here's Alex. Alex is all boy. He's about all things fun. Alex is our comedian. Alex is also one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. This picture shows his free spirit. Barefoot on the beach, carrying a gun made of wood that he found moments before and his perpetually mussed up hair. Ask him why his hair is messy and he'll say "I don't know" and what he means is "so?". And then there's the smile, it rarely leaves his face.

Talking Dog

2011-05-03T14:02:00.001-07:00

For more funny talking animals visit the YouTube site

Blowfish

2011-04-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

My kids have discovered the joy in the humor of the window blowfish face.

The first time they showed me they acted like it was a new thing. I thought I may have deflated the moment a bit by telling them we did that as kids too. It wasn't intentional just stated the facts. It didn't matter much, it's still high-larious to them.

Call Waiting

2011-04-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

Today a customer called me with a problem. Not a new problem but one due to their own issues and the weather still plagues them. A problem that I was probably more familiar with than he was. He proceeded to rehash the problem and the steps they've tried and the ones they've ignored. That was annoying enough but I was patient and let him go through the steps he needed to.

At 4 minutes and 23 seconds into the call I hear a phone ring in the background. He says it's his cell and he needs to grab it. Whatever. You called me buddy. He proceeded to take the call. I watched the time tick away on my phone which records the length of calls. Thirty seconds... forty five... a minute... a minute ten... patience... a minute thirty... patience evaporating... a minute forty five... ahhhrrrggg... my fingers on the release button... two minutes and he's still yapping... click! I'm out.

He calls back ten minutes later asking for me and I'm on the phone. He leaves his number. I'll call him tomorrow.

I was irritated. Not without good reason. First, he called me. Second, in the past three weeks this has happened to me five times. All five times it was somebody that called me and proceeded to take another call during ours. Not once in each of these five incidences did I have the opportunity to even tell the person to call me back when they are done. All five quickly said "I need to grab this" and then proceeded to take the other call.

What this shows me is a total lack of respect for me and my time. I'm all for customer service and giving the customer my best but I draw the line at disrespect. There was a day when I would have been mortified to hang up on a customer. I guess those days are gone.

Shooting

2011-04-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today Alex and I took off in the Jeep to explore the back roads of the Tillamook National Forest. Our ultimate goal was to find a place to shoot. Despite the fact that all his play time and toys revolve around fire power and weapons, Alex has never fired a real gun. We gave him the opportunity to buy a .22 rifle last year but he chose instead to get a bow and arrow. So this weekend I borrowed a .22 rifle from my co-worker and out we went.

We drove along for quite a while before we found a place that looked safe. The problem with that forest is the amount of dirt bike and four wheel riders there are in the area. I stopped and asked a few about good places to shoot but none were too helpful.

Once we were settled and the target was in place we went through a number of safety points. That done I fired a few rounds so Alex could see and hear what it was like. His turn. After a few moments of reluctance he finally fired a round. His face lit up. He was hooked.

Since the gun was a bit heavy for him I let him rest it on a stump. The target which was about 30 yards away didn't stand a chance. Most shots were low and to the right but they were all hitting the target.

At the end of the day his hands were cold and tired, the Jeep was muddy and it was time to head home. His last words before leaving the forest were "Dad, I think I like shooting more than the bow and arrow." Not surprised.

Taekwondo Tournament

2011-04-01T11:00:00.001-07:00

Last month Alex competed in his first taekwondo tournament here in Portland. He had a great time and we had fun watching him. He took a silver in his form and a bronze in his breaking. I had the pleasure of holding for him during his breaking.

The competition was long but a lot of fun to see. Outside of The Karate Kid I've never seen a tournament like this. Next year Brianna and I will probably compete as well.

Here's Alex with Brianna and Kathi after receiving his first medal. Kathi's shirt is proof that she loves me.

Alex performing his competition form for the judges.

Alex breaking two boards with a flying side kick, me sweating profusely.

The girly. Ain't she cute.

Patiently waiting for his turn to compete.

Here's a picture of the team published in the Hillsboro Argus. Although the photo was submitted by Molly Frazier I must let you know that it was taken by yours truly.

Spring Girly

2011-03-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

The end of Winter has given us record amounts of rain and a depressing lack of sun. So far Spring hasn't treated us much better. Thankfully the plants understood we needed a change and began to bloom.

Brianna loved the blossoms so she collected a bouquet of cherry blossoms to display in the kitchen.

Dear Lord, please bring us some sun. We could use a ray of sunshine and a little vitamin D after this long wet and dark winter.

twin baby boys have a conversation - part 2 ORIGINAL VIDEO

2011-03-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

Can someone translate this for me? It appears to be a friendly disagreement of some sort based on the hand gestures. Maybe it's over sock etiquette and whether or not it's acceptable to have only one sock or two of a different color. Not too sure. A little help people?

Art with Salt - Eric Northman

2011-03-29T16:08:00.000-07:00

Just when you think that every art medium has been used along comes something like this. Salt.

The simplicity of the white on black is striking but what really gets me is how the salts texture perfects the face.

Big Heads

2011-03-01T19:36:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago I sent my brother a photo of a Charlie Brown squishy that he had dropped off at my office about ten years ago. For ten years this Charlie Brown figure has graced my office without much notoriety, however, someone had come into my office that day and asked about it. This reminded me of my brother so I sent him the picture and a text from my phone. He had returned the text asking if it was still squishy so I sent him a response photo showing that it was. This Darth Vader bobble is another nick-knack that floats around my office. Darth holds a prominent position atop my computer where he can keep a watchful eye on things.

Seeing these two figures got me thinking. What is up with the oversize craniums? Are we obsessed with big heads? I for one have a larger than normal head at 7 5/8" but nothing compared to these two. My boss has an irritating habit of calling attention to my head. Irritating not because I'm embarrassed or bothered by having a big head but because it's not the least bit funny and his point of bringing it up is that he thinks it is.

What would happen if the world was destroyed and aliens landed on Earth and all that was left in the rubble were a couple of bobble head dolls and images of Precious Moments figures? Would their report back to the home world consist of ideas that humans were large headed beings with incredible balance to be able to stand with that melon on top? I'm sure they would.

We are taken in by things over-sized. Even McDonalds knows this, just look at the Hamburgler and Mayor McCheese.

What would I look like if I took my 7 5/8" head to the proportions of the bobblehead?

Well no need to leave it up to the imagination. Here it is. Huge Noggin' Brian. "Like an orange on a toothpick".

The Welcome

2011-02-20T17:05:00.001-08:00

Until today I've never been in a Whole Foods grocery store. Living in the Portland area that probably puts me in the minority. Alex and I were out and about when I got the call from Kathi asking me to pick up some leeks while I was out. Whole Foods was right down the road and I thought who better to have leeks than a place called Whole Foods.

We park and walk to the entrance when about ten feet from the entrance I felt something hard hit my head. I look up and around but see nothing and nobody but Alex. Then I look at my shoulder which is covered in green grasslike clumps. It was then I realized that I was pooped on. I could then hear the geese flying above sqauking "welcome to Whole Foods sucker!"

We continued into the store and Alex asked what happened so I told him a bird crapped on me. He of course laughed and a lady who overheard smiled at me and said "that's nature in all it's glory." Yep, forty two and a half years living on God's green earth and nature finally hits its target.

Friday Night Excitement

2011-02-11T21:58:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth Taylor as the shrew on TV.

Digital SLR Camera's being reviewed on the internet.

Fringe being recorded by the DVR.

Beer in the glass.

The dog is puking.

The kids are munching popcorn.

That's our Friday night at this moment. Kathi and the kids are watching Taming of the Shrew with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. They recently studied Shakespeare so this is how Kathi is wrapping that study up. I'm half paying attention. My other half is reading about digital SLR's. I'm finally (with the help of a nice tax return) going to plunge back into my old hobby of photography with a new camera. It's been years and I've been patient.

The problem I have now is deciding which one to buy. At this moment I'm torn between the Nikon D300s and the D7000. I wish I could blend the two to make a single camera with the features of each that I like. I know Nikon will do it someday by putting out the D400, but like anything electronic these days the moment you buy it it is obsolete.

I hate being torn. I think tomorrow I may take a trip to the camera store and do a little touchy-feely and see what the salesmen say. For now I may turn my attention to the movie and Elizabeth Taylors enormous cleavage.

Blogging on the go

2011-02-11T12:40:00.001-08:00

I know I don't post much anymore but it isn't because I don't have anything to say. Sometimes time gets away from me.

Today I discovered that I can post from my phone. So here I sit by the river digesting my lunch and putting a post up.

I'd probably say more but typing on this keyboard is just not very efficient. I just wanted to post because I can.

The Force

2011-02-03T11:13:00.000-08:00

With my immense love for all thing Star Wars this commercial spoke to me. My inner geek is alive and well.

Idol Winner

2011-01-28T09:09:00.000-08:00

I don't care if anyone else sings better than this guy because he is already the winner in my mind. What a story. Love this!

"What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me most?!" That is the manliest statement of the year! We need more men like this in our world.

Closer... Closer...

2011-01-27T20:22:00.000-08:00

Watch this video and tell me how he does it! I must know!!!

High Surf Warnings

2011-01-23T09:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things don't go as planned. Due to high surf all week our time in the water has been very limited. Despite that we are having a great time. Today is our last full day here and we are going to meet up with my Uncle Johnny and Aunt Kay who are also on the island.

Since we couldn't get in the water we modified our time in paradise with other activities. Here's a few of the fun things we've done this week.
Alex and I went with Sue and Jim to explore a lava tube. We climbed and crawled back as far as it went. Alex was loving it, my knees were not.

Here's the boy at top at the end of the journey.

The lava fields look like Mars.

We cooked some yummy dinners. This was ka-bob night with chicken, peppers, onion and fresh Hawaiian pineapple.

The kids discovered the macademia tree. Uncle Jim let them use a hammer to crack them open so they could be eaten.

We met with the king.

We explored valleys.

We watched a rescue.

We teased the ass-horse.

We witnessed His art.

... and more of His art. This is the surf at the bay we were scheduled to tour.

We got in touch with nature.

This poor critter was patient with the kids.

More to come...

Waipio Valley

2011-01-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

We weren't sure what we were going to do yesterday. The island has been on high surf alert and most of the beaches were closed. At first we thought we heard them say that the Waipio beach was closed but we found out it wasn't. Off we went.
Here's the troopers that walked with me down the mile long 25% grade road. The walk down was a challenge and I'm very glad we had a ride back up. The blue book we use as a guide to many things said that it's a mile down but will feel like five miles going up. I believe it.
The water was great.
We came across some of the wild horses feeding. They were beautiful animals.
Here's Capt. Jim driving us back up the hill. You can see the car ahead pulled over to wait for us to pass. The road is steep and narrow.
The sunset from the lanai is just wonderful.

Today will be more beach and snorkeling. It's rough I know.

Hawaiian Wildlife

2011-01-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

As you may know Hawai'i is full of wildlife not common to the mainland. On our first day out to the beach we spotted two of the rarest species.

The first was the black-billed flycatcher. She was so still and patient waiting for her prey. At one point I thought we might need to check for a pulse.

The second sighting was of the purple breasted oompah. What was unusual was that she was accompanied by the black chested oompah male (unpictured). They were off for a water hunting expedition.

There were many others but we were not fast enough with the camera to capture them.

We entered the water and snorkeled for a while but I had an equipment malfunction which cut my time short. Today the waves were too high for snorkeling so we spent the day out and about.

We hit the farmers market in the morning to find some local fruit but ended up with other items like baked goods, beads and other items.

We hit a coffee farm for a tour and found some more wildlife. Here is Brianna with the chameleon that Kathi found in the orange tree. We all took turns holding the little guy. We also saw two pigs that were roaming but again they alluded the camera's eye.

After the caffeine fest we headed for lunch and then to a market that was on the main street through the center of Kona. We had the obligatory shaved ice and the kids picked up some souvenirs.

We spent a little time watching the waves and letting the kids play on the beach before heading home to grill some steaks on the lanai.

STD MFN

2011-01-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

On our way home from church this weekend I spotted a license plate that read "STD MFN". My first thought was that you've got to be pretty self assured or narcissistic to have a license plate like that. At least the guy was driving a black Nissan Pathfinder and not a VW Bug.

We drove along laughing and making fun of the term "stud muffin". It was not something the kids had ever heard. I told the kids that I was not to be referred to as a "stud muffin" because although I may be soft and warm I am not filled with fruit.

Bringing In 2011

2010-12-31T16:05:00.000-08:00

Just chillin' today anticipating a New Year. And I mean NEW! I'm looking and praying for some change and hope that I get it.

For now I've got beers getting bottled and Rush on the player.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Making Math Interesting...No, FUN!

2010-12-17T15:47:00.000-08:00

Don't like math? I bet there is somebody out there that doesn't. If it's you and you don't think you'll ever find math fun you should check out this blog I found.

vihart.com

A self described recreational mathemusician Vi puts together her mathematical interest into some wonderfully fun videos. Whether it's on paper or balloons or music she takes math to a level I challenge you to not find interesting or fun.

She has a thing for Harry Potter too. So if you don't like math maybe you'll find her musings and music on Harry interesting.

Digital Nativity

2010-12-16T06:48:00.000-08:00

This is a fun look at the Nativity through todays technology.

Perfect

2010-12-08T12:56:00.001-08:00

I challenge you to watch this video and not cry.

You'll laugh for sure. But let's see if you don't cry.

Kevin Bacon's Biggest Fan

2010-12-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

I love people who have a good sense of humor. Especially when they can have a good sense of humor about themselves. Kevin Bacon moved up a notch with this ad.

A Double Rainbow

2010-11-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

Today my kids saw a double rainbow...

Finger Magic

2010-11-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

Look off into the distance then hold your pointer fingers horizontally in front of your face about a foot away and touch your finger tips together. What do you see? A third finger pinned between the other two?

Tonight we were talking about illusions at dinner and this one came up because I had shown it to Alex a few nights ago. Brianna hadn't yet seen it so I taught her how to see it.

I instruct her to look at me and at the same time touch her fingers in front of her face. She does it and sees the third finger. She then proceeds to look over at Kathi and does the same thing. Then she looks at Alex and touches her fingers together again. In an excited voice she exclaims "It works on all of you!"

Laughter ensues.

She finally gets it and explains that she thought I was doing a magic trick with her and didn't think it would work looking at other people.

Can you see the third finger?

Touch Me Once Shame On You

2010-11-15T22:11:00.000-08:00

I'm in a quandary.

In January we are traveling to Hawaii. I want to go so bad I can taste it. The warm weather, clear water and a visit with my brother and sister-in-law. The perfect trifecta for a vacation. The problem is TSA.

I want safety in my travels. I want terrorist stopped. What I don't want is a nude image of me for anyone to see or my junk touched. More than that I don't want it for my wife and children. What I do want is the terrorist who want to do me, my family and my country harm stopped.

Where is the line? I don't like the full body scan, I don't like the genitals being touched and I surely don't like terrorists blowing things up. In the news there is much a do about what the TSA is doing, or touching for that matter and I'm not sure where I stand on it.

As technology changes and the terrorist become more bold our line of defense must follow suit. The TSA is a fledgling group who is in a Catch-22... damned if they do, damned if they don't. One guy gets all the media attention today because he doesn't want his junk touched but if the TSA missed one guy with a bomb strapped to his dick the whole of the country would come down on them. Where, as a country, do we stand? On privacy or security? In some circumstances I don't think you get both.

In order to protect my body against hernia's and cancer I'm willing to let a doctor grab me in places only me wife is allowed to touch. Am I willing to let some no-named security officer do the same so I can go to Hawaii? I'm thinking about it.

Online Find

2010-11-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

In my experience through my life dealing with excema, mostly on the face, I've found few medications that have helped much. A couple of years ago I found an over the counter topical that helped more than anything I've tried. Recently it has been harder to find at the local stores and this time out I couldn't find it anywhere. I opted for a substitute that does not work nearly as well.

I decided to check online to see who carries it around here and ended up on Amazon.com. Amazon listed it as available and gave the price for about ten different online sellers that had it. So, I ordered two bottles. No need to drive all over Portland looking for the elusive lotion as it will now be delivered to me. Thank you Amazon!

Laughing

2010-11-11T19:40:00.000-08:00

Try and watch this video and not laugh.

Hurt

2010-11-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a song has more meaning when it is sung by a particular person. This post has two videos of the same song sung by different people. Each one portrays the song in a little different way. The first video is by the writer and original artist, the second by a legend. Both the video and voice change the song for me. They contain the same lyrics (mostly) but the feel of the song is so different. Check it out...

In the original video Trent Reznor stands on stage behind a screen of images of war, animals, death, art, Jesus and whatnot. This video is interesting and portrays an artistic and global feel for the song.

Hurt - Nine Inch Nails (Original Song)

In the version below Johnny Cash gives a heart felt rendition that just grabs me. The video images on top of his voice adds a ton more emotion to it. I've never heard or read what Trent Reznor thinks of Mr. Cash's version but I bet he thinks it's awesome.

Hurt - Johnny Cash cover version

Nice Fall Day

2010-11-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

Today I'm enjoying a nice cool fall day in my garage. I've got the radio tuned into some good classic rock and some beer brewing on the burner. A Scottish Ale was the choice for today. We'll know in about a month how it turned out. One thing that brewing beer will teach you is patience since nothing comes in a hurry.

Last night I enjoyed a night out with Kathi. It is nice to have kids old enough to watch and fend for themselves. We went out for burgers at a place called Killer Burger in NE Portland. We both choose their popular Peanut Butter and Pickle Burger. I know it sounds like a pregnant lady burger but it was surprisingly delicious. It had an Asian mojo going for it. The burger joint was a bit crowded but a nice young couple let us share a table with them.

After the burgers we went to see Inception. I have to say, this was the best movie I've seen in a long time. The story was captivating and the special effects were awesome.

A good weekend thus far.

Label Maker

2010-10-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

So far the beer making as been a lot of fun. Sometimes I feel like I'm back in science class with all the technical information available for the brewing process. Let's set that aside for a bit, we'll get back to that at a later time. This post is about one aspect - creativity.

Creativity is a big part of the brewing process but even that I don't want to talk about today. Today I want to talk about the label. Yep, it has nothing to do with the beer itself but its name and packaging. Granted I'm not selling nor distributing my beer I still feel compelled to name them and give them labels. So far I have only created names and labels and have yet to actually print them and put them on the bottle.

The first beers I made were from somebody else's recipe, the third was a modified recipe and the fourth is all my own. Since I added to the third I felt like I had made it my own. You know, like on American Idol when the performer sings somebody else's song and the judges tell the contestant that they had "made it their own". I changed up an existing recipe and thus "made it my own".

So for the "made it my own" beer I took and existing India Pale Ale recipe and changed it up a bit. So for that one I felt I could name it and make a label. The name is Cloud Cap IPA and here is the label.

The picture is of Mt. Hood with a lenticular cloud over the top of it. I love it when those clouds appear over the mountain, it looks like it has a hood or a hat on.

The fourth beer is all my own creation. I researched the ingredients and put together my own recipe for this one. It's an American Pale Ale. Sticking with the theme of NW living I came up with the name Puddle Stomp Pale Ale. It has a nice ring to it. Here is my label for it.

The red boots nailed it for me.

Someday maybe I'll perfect my beers and venture out and you'll see similar labels to this in your nearby Safeway. Who knows. For now I'm having fun with it and look forward to learning more about the process and coming up with fun and creative names.

Jeep Adventure

2010-10-27T21:35:00.001-07:00

So I've had my first Jeep adventure. The problem is... I wasn't in my Jeep.

Since my Jeep was bought used it has some used car issues. Not big ones, just maintenance ones. Actually, one of the reasons I chose the Jeep was because the maintenance was something I could do on my own since it's basic and has considerably less electronics and modern amenities. This week I decided to tackle one of the issue I knew was looming.

The problem... angry sparrows. That's what they call it. "They" being Jeep people. When the u-joints go bad on the front drive shaft they squeak constantly which makes a terrible racket. My Jeep's got angry sparrows and got it bad. So, being the diligent car owner that I am I wanted to take care of the issue as soon as possible. Monday night was the night.

During lunch I picked up all the supplies, looked up a couple websites on removing and installing u-joints, took inventory of my tools and was ready to go. That night we ate a quick dinner and I ventured out to my project. I decided to do the rear drive shaft first since it was the smaller of the two and easier to get to. I removed it and bam! I was ready to change out the u-joints. This is where the adventure turns.

One hour later! One hour, people. I was still trying to get the first u-joint out of the shaft. Hammering, prying, clamping, and hammering some more I couldn't even budge the damn thing. My poor son, he was trying to be so supportive and trying to encourage me during my frustration. It didn't work. I was loosing it with this damn piece rusted into place over the past ten years. I did everything the websites said including soaking the thing in WD-40. Nothing was moving that thing. What was I to do? I needed a hydraulic press.

Guess who has a hydraulic press. Work. Yep. Work. 18.4 miles away work.

"Hey kids, dad will be back later, I'm going to work for a while" "Yes, I know its 8 at night" "Mom will be home soon." "Yes, I know it's raining." "No, I can't take the Jeep, it doesn't have a drive shaft." "Yes, I know it's raining and I'm going to get wet." So rain be damned. I packed the shaft in my back pack, got on my riding gear and road my motorcycle in the pouring rain the 18.4 miles to the office. Why didn't I take the van you ask... Kathi had it. The jeep didn't have a drive shaft so the bike was my only option.

Once at work I got the u-joint out with a little creativity and the power of a 10 ton hydraulic press. The creativity came in with the rigging. We are not rigged for u-joints, we are rigged for 3" bushings. One of my bosses was there working late and was hanging out watching me. He asked if he could help and then retracted the offer claiming not to be mechanical.

The true adventure came on my ride home. On the way to the office it was sprinkling - on the way home it was a downpour. I am a fair weather rider and typically don't ride when the clouds are showing face. This night I didn't have a choice. The Jeep, at my own hands, was down and I needed it to get to work. Into the rain I went.

The whole way home I kept thinking about deer. It is the time of year they start showing up in the roadways and I couldn't get them out of my head. My visibility was poor due to the constant rain on my visor and my inability to clear it off. My helmet has no wipers. I ended up taking the rain to the face as I rode with my visor half raised. I was getting soaked. The rain was coming down hard and I had no choice but to ride through it. I was on a mission and an adventure. My butt was wet my neck was cold but I was going to replace this drive shaft tonight if it killed me.

Once home I had 100 pounds of soaked riding gear and clothes to shed and still had to put in the drive shaft. Taking off the wet riding clothes was harder than putting the shaft back in. By the time I was done it was 10:45. What I thought would take less than an hour ended up taking three and three quarters. I stuck my work light under the Jeep and completed the job. Success!!! Five minutes to remove the shaft, five minutes to put it back in - the rest of the time - ONE u-joint! Dang.

All in all I learned a bunch. The first thing was how to remove and install u-joints. The second, and probably most important, was not to take on unfamiliar projects on work nights.

Politics As Usual

2010-10-24T20:57:00.002-07:00

Is Nov. 4th almost here? Gawd! I am so tired of the political ads.

The negative ads are the worst. At least, they are the worst of two evils. Listening to the ads you'd think that the person they are putting down is the most evil person in the world. The pictures shown of the opponent is always the least flattering photo that could be found and the music behind it is from the scariest movie you've ever seen. Dun, dun, dun... if you vote for this person you've just put Satan in office and they'll rip your soul out of your body.

Then on the other hand you've got the support ads. Always bright and cheery showing the candidate shaking hands with the average Joe or Jody, kissing babies, digging a hole for a new tree, or hugging their family. Is there something appealing about a guy in a button up shirt with a sweater tied around his neck? They alway seem to be wearing that in the commercials. The music is uplifting and positive and the images bright. You'd think the person was going for sainthood.

None of the commercial seem to be about anything that matters anymore. Just mud and mudslinging. He who ends up the cleanest at the end wins it all.

Good grief it gets old. The political ads just make me weary of the whole process.

Politics As

2010-10-24T20:57:00.001-07:00

Sleep Kicking

2010-10-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

Some nights we get Alex up to go to the bathroom when we go to bed. This event often results in something amusing due to his lack of awareness and total sleepiness. I would venture to guess that most nights he doesn't even wake up during the process. I often think it would be fun to video record this event but we haven't yet.

This week, the night of our test in Taekwondo, was one of the nights we got him up. Since we ate late we thought it was a good idea in order to prevent any "issues" during the night. That's what we call it. Issues. As usual it took a bit to get him to rouse and sit up. He's a hard sleeper so it takes him a while to come to his senses. Because of this he often doesn't know which direction to walk or starts talking nonsense like he's still dreaming. This night was no different.

I usually don't intentionally take advantage of his state of being in these moments - I usually don't have to, he'll do something on his own - but for some reason this night I did. We had all just earned our next belt level and had TKD on our minds so once he was up I said "sidekick!" and he busted out a sidekick. Once we were in the hall I said "jump front kick!" and he did one. Just like that, on command. No hesitation, he just did it and I was busting up. I knew he wasn't awake which made it so funny. The poor kid was at my command. I had a good laugh.

The next day I asked him if he remembers doing some TKD with me that night and he didn't. He did remember getting up, he just didn't remember kicking on command.

One of Those Days

2010-10-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

I'll never tire of this video. It's an oldy but goody. Today isn't one of those days for me but I've had them. You know, the kind of day where you can totally relate to this guy's break down. I think we all have them - bad days not necessarily break downs that is. The difference between us and this guy is a little self control.

A couple of years ago I did have one slip of control in my boss's office. I was holding a huge stack of documents that ended up getting slammed down on his metal bookcase during a heated discussion. Oops. As right as I may have been in the discussion my exclamation at the end was not right. Funny as it was to my coworkers it wasn't right. Live and learn.

I'm Still Around

2010-10-16T20:41:00.001-07:00

I'm not dead. Yet.

I've just not had too much to say lately. The truth is, I've got a lot to say but I'm old and too tired right now to say it.

So...

This is what we were up to last week.

This <--- click here

This <--- then click here

and This <---- and finally click here.

Congratulations Gus and Sara!!!

Cover Magic

2010-10-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes covers of songs are just the best. Without the original they'd be just songs, but following the original they are a reflection of the next artist to touch the work. This song, in its original form, is fun and kooky. As a remake... well, you decide. I for one love both.

I Have No Words...

2010-09-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

Weather Report Follow Up

2010-09-23T08:00:00.001-07:00

As a follow up to my last post on the weather I submit this.

It appears that Saturday is our last day on earth. After Saturday there is no weather to report. Time to get right with God people.

Puppy's Make Me Happy

2010-09-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

It is hard to watch this video and not smile.

These guys are the masters of the fun music video. You may remember their smash introduction to the video world with the synchronized treadmills or their giant Rube Goldberg device. Well now they've gone and added the unpredictable puppy. Enjoy.

Silly Weather

2010-09-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

This is our weather forecast for the next seven days in Portland. I have one question... what is the difference between "Partly Sunny" and "Partly Cloudy"? Doesn't that really say the same thing? There will be blue skies and some clouds on Monday, blue skies and less clouds on Tuesday, on Wednesday we are back to blue skies and some clouds, Thursday blue skies and some clouds, but on Friday and Saturday look out, we've got some clouds and blue skies.

Notice that on Monday and Wednesday it calls for "Partly Sunny" however the clouds in the graphic on Monday look bigger than the clouds on Wednesday. And the clouds on the "Partly Sunny" days are the same as the clouds on the "Partly Cloudy" days. I'm so confused.

Is there a Meteorologist Thesaurus out there helping these guys?

New Community, Part II

2010-09-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago today an tragedy occurred that will last in the minds of this country for a long long time. 9/11 is a date that will remain in infamy. Because of their hatred for our country a small group our radical Muslims carried out these atrocious attacks on our soil killing thousands of innocent people. Men, women and children of all walks of life were killed in an instant. Others suffered prolonged deaths or were trapped and waited for death or jumped to their deaths from the buildings.

That day hero's walked the earth. Hero's came in the form of passengers on flight 93 who downed a plane saving countless innocent lives while taking their own. Hero's ran into the towers to rescue survivors. Hero's who's names may never be know put aside everything to risk their lives to save others. On that day there were no Democrats or Republicans, Jew nor Gentile, rich nor poor. Differences were put aside and we stood as Americans. United. Together we grieved, mourned and prayed.

On that day we were Americans. United as one nation. Flags were raised, churches were filled, answers were sought, and people joined together in the effort. Tragedy brought unity. We all had one thing in common, an attack on our people took place on our soil and we didn't like it.

Sadly, that unity did not last. It wasn't long after that we returned to our typical bickering over politics, religion and economics. Some of the things that divided this country before became even more polarized. The American community that came together for a moment was again divided into its smaller communities.

Nine years later the polarity is at its greatest. Sad as it is it seems to be our nature. We divide easily and hold onto that division with clenched fists. I long for the day when the community is restored and we stand as one. We have a great country that offers us a significant amount of freedom and this should be celebrated. We should allow our freedom to be different be the thing that unites us.

I think the preamble to the Constitution states it best:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general

Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

New Community, Part I

2010-09-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

This past month I entered into a community that I had little knowledge existed. This community is a little different. There are gatherings, events, websites and t-shirts but what I've noticed so far is the wave. The wave is what happens when one Jeep Wrangler passes another. Sound familiar? It would if you rode a motorcycle.

Since I'm also a motorcycle rider I'm familiar with the wave. It happens when one bike passes the other. It is an acknowledgement of the other rider, a code, or gesture if you will, that you know and are part of that group. The wave takes on many forms: the two finger sweep, the open palm, the point, the salute, the peace sign, and I've even seen the single barrel shot with a barrel smoke blow. What I didn't know was that Wrangler drivers have a similar tradition. I bought a Jeep Wrangler and now belong to that community. We wave at each other. Silly? Maybe, but it is what is done and I'm going to do it too.

I think deep down things like this begin because everyone wants to belong to something. A community is made up of like-minded people who enjoy their commonality and meet together to support or promote that which they love. The Church is one of those communities. The Church loves Jesus so they meet together to talk about Jesus, learn about Jesus, worship Jesus, and to just be around those that love all things Jesus. But churches like other communities have their disagreements. This is evident in the amount of churches and denominations that we see today.

There are motorcycles that I pass where the wave never takes place. The wave is often snubbed by Harley riders to the riders of a different brand or style of bike. My bike is a sport bike thus it is not respected by some in the cruiser community and I'm snubbed on the wave. Some Harley riders can be snobby and will only belong to the smaller Harley community of bike riders within the greater community of those on two wheels. Me? I wave to anyone on two wheels with a motor, including scooters. But there are those that don't. They think the scooter isn't worthy of the wave or maybe the crotch rocket is some punk kid that doesn't appreciate the fine craftsmanship of the chopper. Whatever the reason division happens.

You see this same thing everyday in the church. I've met people who snub other churches because they use the electric guitar in worship or that they don't take communion each week. Throughout the ages divisions have taken place over political stances, doctrinal disagreements, interpretation, policy and practice, etc. These divisions have resulted in an estimate of over 39,000 denominations of Christianity being developed over the ages. Did you read that? Thirty nine thousand! This is according to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary who estimates by the year 2025 there will be 55,000 different denominations. That is a new denomination every twelve hours.

That division amongst believers makes the division between square headlights and round headlights in the Wrangler world look good. For the record, I can't stand square headlights on Wranglers. What happened to unity under Christ. I can hear it now "Jesus is Lord but if you pull out the drums in worship I'm going somewhere else." It is almost like Christians go looking for things to create division, to make their community smaller. Is a smaller community better? Or is a unified community better? I vote for the latter. I think the more division a community has the less attractive it is to those outside the community as a whole.

We weren't created for division, we were created for community. Look at the way the majority of people in the world live, they live in cities where close quarters are a way of life. If we weren't made with a natural bent for community I don't think cities would be as big as they are. I dare you to stand in New York city and start yelling "New York SUCKS!!!" You won't because you know you'll get your ass kicked. The people of New York are proud of their city. Flaws and all when it all comes down to it they are New Yorkers.

more later...

Big F@#KING Fish

2010-09-01T18:33:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago during lunch I witnessed our future in the making. I witnessed a father teaching his son, at least I think it was his son based on the matching wife beater tank tops, how to be a man. The father looked to be about thirty and the son looked about ten.

Scene: *me sitting at a park bench along the Willamette river watching a father and son fishing from the boat dock with the clearly marked sign "NO FISHING FROM DOCK". I'm close enough to hear every word uttered between the two yet far enough he must not think I can or doesn't care. I vote for the latter.*

father: Stop crossing my f@#cking line.

son: sorry, it just keeps drifting that way.

*fathers line tightens and he gets excited*

father: come grab my pole I've got one on and want you to reel it in (a kind gesture)

son: SWEET!!!

*son grabs pole and start reeling - father leans over to peer into water*

father: keep reeling I can see it and it is f@#king huge

*snap - line goes lose and the fish is gone* note: I was close enough to see the fish and it was huge. Maybe not f@#cking huge, but huge nonetheless for a fish in this river

father: FFF@#@@#@K!!! FF@##%T%@%Kity!!! F@#K! you didn't reel fast enough the f@#ker got away. Did you see that huge f@#ker?!? It was f@#king huge and you let it get away. Man that was f@#king huge.*repeat the last sentence ten times 16 seconds apart...*

son: oh man, I'm sorry, it tried...

father: FFF@#KKKK!!!

*father picks up cell, dials a number, stands there for a minute, puts cell down*

father F@#K!!!

*father picks up cell again, dial a number, speaks...*

father to cell: I just got the biggest mother-f@#king fish on the line, had to be at least two feet and fifty pounds (an exaggeration for sure) and I let Hayden reel it in but the f@#ker got away.... yeah he didn't reel it fast enough... it was a huge f@#ker and I'm f@#king pissed it got away... yeah... okay... later then.

father to the air: F@#K!!!

*close scene* not that it is over, it wasn't. This went on for over twenty minutes.

Let's examine. What did the son learn from his father? Answer, how to be an ass. That's it. Nothing more. An ass!

20 years from now what will that kid be like when he's fishing with his son? We learn from our relationships how to have relationships. This kid is not learning how to have a good father son relationship. Sad.

A Night Out and In

2010-08-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

For Alex's birthday we planned to buy him a desk for his birthday. The one he/we picked out was one from IKEA and the night we went to purchase it it was out of stock. So last night we checked on line and they had nine in stock so we planned an evening out with the kids to go pick it up.

Our trip to IKEA was successful, the desk was purchased as were a few other items that we couldn't pass up. Kathi got a wok for $5, a soup ladle for $1 and some bag clips $3. I'm hoping for some yummy stir fry now.

After IKEA, since we were in North Portland, we decided to eat at Porque No for dinner. Why not? Right! Yummy tacos on a beautiful Saturday night in Portland. The restaurant was small and crowded, the tacos were small and a bit over priced, yet they were delicious. It is a trendy restaurant that you commonly find in the Mississipi and Albina area of North Portland. If tacos are your thing I highly recommend Newberg of all places for the best deal on tacos at Panaderia Gonzalez. Their tacos are more than twice the size for the same price.

Nothing finished off a night with the kids like s'mores in the backyard.

It was a bit smokey for the girl.

Mmmm... s'mores.

Hot Shoes!

One of Owen's toys ended up in the backyard last year and has been tossed around back there by everyone but Owen. Last night Kathi saw it in a plastic bucket and asked me to throw it in the fire. Who am I not to obey?

Brew Time

2010-07-25T15:38:00.001-07:00

In celebration of my 42nd birthday and Oregon's Brewer's Festival this weekend I've started my new hobby. I'm making home brewed beer. Yum!

For years I've got to reap the rewards of my neighbor's beers that they make and have been itching to do my own. For my birthday I picked up all of the supplies needed and started today.

This is the pot of wort coming to a boil. The process is relatively easy. As the guy at the supply store said "If you can boil water, you can make beer." Simple as that. So far I've found that he is mostly correct. Timing, temperature and most importantly sanitation are also part of the mix. Three weeks from today I'll find out how well I followed the procedures required to make a delicious home brewed Pale Ale.

This jug containing five gallons of beer now sits in our hall closet fermenting until it's ready. In my garage I've got about 60 empty bottles ready to be filled with the beer. Eventually I'd like to keg it and put a refrigerator under my counter in an unused space we have in the corner to tap from. For now I'm satisfied to just learn the process and gain more skill in the art of brewing.

After tasting a good percent of the beer on tap at the Oregon Brewers Festival I know that there are plenty of recipes and varieties of beers to make. I started with the Pale Ale because it is the beer style I am most familiar with taste wise so I'll be a better judge of how well I did. Next on the menu will be either a Pilsner or a Hefewiezen. I'm going to save the IPA for the fall or winter.

Until then... bottoms up.

Yellow!

2010-07-22T10:55:00.001-07:00

A month ago Brianna and I joined Alex in Taekwondo. This week we earned our yellow belts. We had to perform everything we've learned so far in front of the Master and then finished by breaking a board with our bare hand.

After watching Alex for a year I thought I'd have a leg up and it would be easier, it is not. First, I come from a line of inflexible people. TKD requires a bit of flexibility to do it well and I can't even touch my toes on a good day. Second, they make it look so easy, it is not. By the time we are done with our stretching and warm-ups I am a pool of sweat. Holding stances and positions for long periods at my age is trying on the old bod. Lastly, I am a fairly coordinated person. I mean, I can walk and chew gum at the same time. Or at least I thought my coordination was good. This form of exercise will only improve it I know but it takes all the concentration I've got to get my feet and hands to do what they are supposed to do at the moment they are to do it.

My favorite part of TKD so far is that I am doing it with my kids. We are having fun with it and I think it will only help to strengthen our already strong bond.

In about a year Kathi will never have to feel unprotected when we go somewhere as a family. She'll have her own ass-whooping entourage with her every step of the way.

Numbers

2010-07-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

Forty two is half of eighty four and twice that of twenty one.

Just sayin'.

Happy 7/11

2010-07-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Today is July 11th, now forever known as 7/11.

In celebration of 7/11, 7-Eleven stores are giving away Slurpees! We partook in this celebration. As avid Slurpee lovers we couldn't resist taking part of the free 7.11 oz of delectable Slurpee goodness. I grabbed the traditional Coke flavor and the kids both got the banana flavor.

Mmmm... Slurpees!

Things That Make You Go "Awwwe!"

2010-07-07T21:43:00.000-07:00

Our little birds, so far unnamed, are out and about already. Walking on day one. Oh, they grow up so fast.
I worked a little magic to get Henry away from the nest to get the picture above. Look at the little biddies all cuddled together.

This one wandered off by itself for a bit and I tried to get a picture of it standing but as soon as I approached is squatted. Once they do they are very hard to see. But check out its leg. They are all leg.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get one of them walking to show you.

Killdeer Babies

2010-07-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

Today Henry and Margret's eggs hatched. We now have killdeer babies running around our shrubbery. Within the first hours these little critters are up on their feet running around. Not far, but still up and about.

There is still one egg that is unhatched. Henry is a bit protective of the nest as you can see in the picture below. Before the hatching if you approached he'd run away and Margret would do her injured wing dance. Now that they've hatched he tries to look as scary as possible while Margret still plays injured.

If you look to the left of Henry's tail you can see the heads of two of the babies.

Here you can see the unhatched egg under Henry's left wind (on your right) surrounded by its siblings.

This has been fun for us to watch. I'll see if I can get better pictures of the new ones later today or tomorrow.

2010-07-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

"The history of rapid prototyping technology dates back to 80’s years of the 20th century." This is a sentence from a blog post I was reading today at work. It bugged me so much that I stopped reading the post because I could not longer focus on the content with that swimming in my head.

Is someone trying to sound smart or pompous? I think so. A normal person, even a slightly abnormal person, would have just said "back to the 1980's."

I, being born in the eighth year of the 60's of the 20th century, was not wowed into thinking that this guy or gal was so brilliant that they were going to teach me anything about prototyping of the rapid kind. So, I, being myself, one of reason and freedom, decided to re-Google my search to find other formed wording of materials in the web strings of the internets to satisfy my interest on the subject of the afore mentioned topic

Blech.

Killdeer

2010-07-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

We have a new family starting here at work. A killdeer has made its home in our front yard, we've named her Margret. Most days she is alone sitting on her nest but on occasion her mate shows up to help, his name is Henry.

Before Margret showed up I didn't even know killdeers existed. What I've learned about them this week has been fun and interesting. Click on the link above if you want to learn more about them.

I'm amused by the way she runs around the parking lot. As of today I've not seen her fly. She's got these long, stick-like legs that move her swiftly across the asphalt.

Here's Margret in her nest. You can see the eggs under her as she gets up to run (I'll explain in a minute).

Here is a shot of her eggs after she ran away. Aren't they pretty? Their camouflage is very effective, they just look like stones.

Here is where Margret ran to. That's here in the middle of our parking lot playing lame. This is the other funny thing about this bird. To protect her eggs she runs about 10 - 20 feet away from the nest and pretends to have a broken wing. Such the drama queen she is. I believe this is further proof of God's sense of humor. It really is funny to see it in person.

Here is the closest shot I could get of her during her dramatic moment. "Oh me, oh my, look at poor little me with my broken wing. Come eat me instead of my kids, I'm hurt and easy to catch. Oh me, oh my." The key to this tactic is that as soon as you approach her to take a bite she stands up and runs a little further away leading you away from her young ones. "Sucker!" Clever bird.

When Henry is around he stays at the nest and postures in an intimidating fashion while Margret runs off for her dramatic moment. We haven't seen him much and when he's around it is hard to tell them apart.

At some point in God's creation process he gave these birds the instinct to play out this role during the care of their eggs. I know in nature it is a serious way for her to protect her young from predators but to me it is just so funny to watch. She has no idea that I'm no threat to her young and actually look forward to seeing them hatch yet she carries on with the drama as if I'm going to steal her eggs. To be honest I've gone out there a couple of time just to see her do her thing. It amuses me.

World Cup

2010-06-29T21:04:00.001-07:00

When someone mentions the World Cup to me this is what I see.

I can't help it. I'm not a fan. I will never be a fan. I watched a bit and it just isn't for me.

A Day at Silver Falls

2010-06-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

My brother Kevin and his family are in town during his sabbatical. So today he and I took advantage of the nice weather and brought the kids to Silver Falls. This is such a beautiful place in Oregon, one to put on the must see list if you come to visit.

The kids were total troopers at first. We kept asking what they thought of the place and they would respond with words like "great" or "awesome". As the trail go longer and the stomachs emptier the words turned to "dumb" and "boring". When all is said and done, if you ask them in a day or two, they'll tell you they had a great time. I've got pictures to prove it.

I'm not going to try and waste words describing the beauty God created here, I'll just show you with some photos. Enjoy.

This is the main falls, Silver Falls, and the first you come to along the trail. As you can see you get to walk behind the falls on the trail.

This is the second falls, Lower South Falls, that we saw today. You also get to walk behind this one also.

Here I am with Brianna and Alex in front of Silver Falls.

Kevin and the kids behind the South Lower Falls.

Kevin and the kids in front of the Lower South Falls.

The kids pointing the way to the Lower South Falls.

Brianna inspecting some wildflowers on the trail to the falls.

Taking a break. Nothing like grabbing a rest on a log.

They were way up there climbing the root system of the trees on the hillside.

Father and son on the long stair climb back up from the Lower South Falls.

Dream Theater @ The Roseland

2010-06-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

There are times when everything works out just fine.

This was one of them.

A few weeks back a friend told me that Dream Theater was making a stop in town during their tour with Iron Maiden. It was a no-brainer, we were going. I got online to buy tickets and the reserved seats in the balcony were sold out so we got general admission tickets for the floor. Being amongst the crowd on the floor was not the worst thing but your view of the magic on stage is hampered a bit. As you can see by the following picture we did not end up on the floor. With a little sweet talk that worked before the bribe came out the nice lady at the stairs let us up. The view was awesome and the music was even better.

After the show we met up with my friend Mike, who tends the upstairs bar, to see if we could meet the band. Previously we had seen him out front before the show and had asked if it was possible and he said he could see what he could do. Mike is the man. He stayed late to make the below photo possible at the sacrifice of his own sleep.

We were downstairs for a bit before Mike Portnoy, the drummer, came out to talk with some people. As they got up to get photos with him we joined in. I got to share a few words, shake hands, and take a couple pics. This was a cool moment. So here is me and Mike.

Pallet to Planter

2010-06-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

The company I work for receives product on pallets continually. These pallets get stacked up in the back forty until the pile is too much and it needs to go. We usually end up taking the pallets to the local paper company for recycling. Most of the time there is nothing wrong with the wood so it seems kind of a waste.

For a couple of years Kathi has wanted me to build her some raised garden beds in the backyard. After pricing the wood we decided that it could wait. This past week at the outdoor market in our town on Tuesday nights I saw a guy who had a booth of garden beds. His beds were made of less expensive wood coated with a protective varnish or they could be purchased bare. This sparked the idea to use the pallets to make garden beds.

The pallets are cheap wood that gets tossed anyway. Why not give the wood a second life as a place to grow life. So this week I rounded up a number of pallets and brought them home. Today I made my first raised garden bed from a used pallet. It took about 10 minutes to put this together. The space between the slats will allow for water drainage. This bed is about 24" square and 6" deep.

The blue is not mine. The guys in the shop sometimes use the pallets to hold parts for painting. I am not going to paint, sand, or stain any of these. My plan is to make them and leave the wood as it was.

FOOD FIIIGHT!!!!

2010-06-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

So here are two bands with different sounds, song titles of things we don't like, and videos that involve food fights. What is it about evil and hell that has to do with food fights? I've been in one and we called it High School. Not quite hell but close enough for some I guess.

I can imagine the fun that was had in the taping of these videos. I can also hear the director "throw food at that guy and try to look serious, no smiling people, this is serious business, take three hundred and forty two... ACTION!". You'd have to say that because the thought alone of throwing food at somebody makes me smile.

Menomena - Rotten Hell

Project 86 - Evil

Yurts For Sale

2010-06-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

If you love the 80's you'll totally love my yurts. I've got rad 80's themed yurts for sale.

Are you going to join a yurt community? Then please peruse my selection of cool yurts themed from the days of feathered hair and parachute pants.

First up is the classic Hall and Oates Yurt. I know this yurt is on your list. Comes complete with a real live set of Daryl Hall and John Oates (musical instruments sold separately).

Next up on the list is a classic yurt Golden Girl style. This classic TV themed yurt comes complete with Emmy Award water features to cool you down on those hot days or just to cool those inevitable hot flashes. You can't go wrong with the Girls. Who wouldn't want Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia to keep them company on those long agrarian days far from civilization?

Finally comes the piece de resistance... The ultimate Star Wars themed yurt complete with your own wookie. This yurt will keep you safe during those long Endorian nights and the wookie will keep you safe and warm (he doubles as a blanket - no need to cut open a ton-ton and sleep in it's guts with this set up).

You must hurry, supplies are limited.

What Can Kill You?

2010-06-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

At dinner tonight we had a conversation about ways you can die. Don't judge me. We talk about everything in this family. Tonight's subject was morbid but it was what it was. I'm not sure exactly what started it but we started naming ways you can die and things that can kill you.

Brianna said that anything can kill you. My challenge was to start naming things and have her tell me how it could kill you. She refuted my hummingbird challenge by telling me that it could fly into your mouth and you could choke on it. Fair enough. I can't remember (because I'm old and senile) what other things were on the list except Owen D'Poodle who we should now fear because he too can kill us. Bad dog.

Lately I've been reading about pirates, both fiction and non-fiction, and in these books they talk about the ways pirates killed or were killed. I brought up one method I read about where they would lash the victim down and put food like cheese on their face and let rats eat their faces off. I thought this would shock the kids and gross them out but it didn't. "Dad, they're Cheese Pirates!" Alex burst out laughing. "They could have cheese in a can and just spray it on their faces, they'd be the Cheese Pirates!" He continued. "And there could be cheese ninjas too!"

So the morbid conversation about death, dying, and ways to kill or be killed ends with Cheese Pirates with deadly cans of Easy Cheese.

Long Live Farley & Swazye

2010-05-31T21:05:00.000-07:00

When I saw this photo all I could picture in my head was Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze in the classic Chippendale dance off.

Thanks for the fun memory Lil' Earl. For more fun pictures visit Awkward Family Photo's.

Laughs and memories like this are made possible by the men and women of our armed forces and those that gave their lives on soil both foreign and domestic. Thank you all for our freedom to live and laugh. Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, National Guard and Coast Guard.

Heard at Ikea

2010-05-29T20:18:00.000-07:00

The kids and I took a trip to Ikea today. While walking through the last part of the maze we witnessed a bit of other family comedy. Meaning it wasn't our family that was the center of the comedy moment.

A boy about 11 or 12 picks a toilet scrubber out of a bin and declares to his father "Dad, I need this." The dad says "no". The boy replies "But I've been waiting ages for a new one of these." My kids were dying holding in the laughter. The dad just looked at the boy and told him to put it back.

Ages. He's been waiting for ages. I could barely contain my own laughter let alone keeping my kids from bursting out. I hurried them along as to not embarrass the dad any more than he already was. How many ages can an 11 something year old boy have waited. Eleven I guess. But for a toilet scrubber? That kid is serious about his sanitation.

Funny?

2010-05-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

As a kid I remember sitting around the record player listening to my dad's Bill Cosby records. I loved them. I'm surprised I didn't wear the groves through the other side of the record. His Fat Albert stories and his Frankenstein movie stories were embedded in my brain. Bill Cosby is funny.

Because of a recent thread *here* I had the desire to look back on the things that I found funny as a kid and what helped me develop my thoughts on humor. There are things in life that are funny and other things that can be made funny. On the converse, there are things you just don't joke about, like spousal abuse, which is what was talked about in the above linked thread. Life, religion, politics, and many other things can be funny or made to be funny. To me the thought of a man beating his wife just can't be funny.

As a dad I want to pass on a healthy sense of humor to my kids. As a family we love to laugh and joke. The Bill Cosby of my childhood to my kids is Jim Gaffigan. This guy is funny. I let my kids enjoy his comedy routines as my dad did Bill Cosby's. Often I'll hear my kids quote or reference one of his jokes. For example, we were walking through Costco one Saturday gathering the essential bulk items you find there and we passed a lady with a gigantic pack of toilet paper. My daughter says "she must really like Hot Pockets." We howled. If you don't know his take on Hot Pockets watch the video of Jim below and you'll understand and you'll laugh.

Funny is good. Not all things can be funny. I hope to leave my kids with a good, clean, and healthy sense of humor. I also share with the Bill Cosby and they love him too, especially his take on cake for breakfast. The future of funny in my family looks bright.

This is one of my favorites of Bill's: