What Can Kill You?

At dinner tonight we had a conversation about ways you can die. Don't judge me. We talk about everything in this family. Tonight's subject was morbid but it was what it was. I'm not sure exactly what started it but we started naming ways you can die and things that can kill you.

Brianna said that anything can kill you. My challenge was to start naming things and have her tell me how it could kill you. She refuted my hummingbird challenge by telling me that it could fly into your mouth and you could choke on it. Fair enough. I can't remember (because I'm old and senile) what other things were on the list except Owen D'Poodle who we should now fear because he too can kill us. Bad dog.

Lately I've been reading about pirates, both fiction and non-fiction, and in these books they talk about the ways pirates killed or were killed. I brought up one method I read about where they would lash the victim down and put food like cheese on their face and let rats eat their faces off. I thought this would shock the kids and gross them out but it didn't. "Dad, they're Cheese Pirates!" Alex burst out laughing. "They could have cheese in a can and just spray it on their faces, they'd be the Cheese Pirates!" He continued. "And there could be cheese ninjas too!"

So the morbid conversation about death, dying, and ways to kill or be killed ends with Cheese Pirates with deadly cans of Easy Cheese.