Monday, February 27, 2006

Olympics to Oscar

Well the Olympics are over so the media has to turn to the next big event... the Oscars.

I've always been a little cynical when it comes to an event put on by an industry to celebrate itself. I do not watch the Academy Awards and this year will not be different. Oh on occasion the remote may slip and I may catch a glimpse of it but as a rule I do not view the big event.

Out of curiosity I took a look at the list of nominees and I barely know any of those movies. The actors I know but the movies they are nominated for... couldn't say I saw many of those. "Crash", "A History of Violence", and "Narnia" I saw. All the others I either never heard of our didn't care to see.

So each year Hollywood gets together to pat themselves on the back. Good for them, because the money and fame isn't enough. My recommendation would be to turn on the DVD player and rent "Hotel Rwanda" which was nominated last year for three Academy Awards.

Monday, February 20, 2006

It is very cold today and I bet we don't see any snow.

"TonightMixed rain and snow showers likely. Lows around 30. North wind 5 to 10 mph."

The weather people have been playing thier usual games with us talking snow here and there but we've seen none so far. A little snow might help me feel better about the increase in my heating bill.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Kids Say...

Back in the late 50's Art Linkletter wrote a book titled "Kids Say The Darndest Things!". I am here to say that 50+ years later they still do... say the darndest things that is.

Kathi started writing down some of the treasured words from our children's mouth in a small binder we keep on our counter. Today I would like to share some of those precious moments with you. Some are touching and some are outright funny.

Alex (3) to me: "You're my best friend" later the same day to Kathi "You're my best friend" the next day to Brianna "Can I hit you with this?"

Alex (3): "I need socks on so my feelings don't hurt"

Brianna (7): "They're using two hours of our precious kid time" to Kathi about going to kids choir rehearsal.

Kathi found Brianna in bed crying and she said: "Mom, I had so much fun being seven that I don't think I want to be eight."

Brianna (now 8) to Alex (now 4): "I feel left out. I think dad feels left out too." Alex: "I want to feel too."

Brianna to Alex: "If you don't stop I won't play with you for the rest of the week." Alex: "Until we go with God?" Brianna: "No!" Alex: "Will you still play with me when we go with God?"

Alex after a flight to Chicago: "Mom, when we went above the clouds we didn't see Jesus on the airplane."

Brianna praying before bed: "Dear God, thank you for Johnny Depp." We had just watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that night.

Kathi's mom (Noni) talking to the kids this past Christmas morning - Brianna: "How did Santa know I wanted this?" Noni: "Well, did you ask Santa for it?" Brianna: "Yes." Noni: "Well, you asked Santa for it so he brought it to you. That's how Santa is." Alex: "Then where's my motorcycle?"

Alex: "Noni, guess what? I know my directions." Noni: "You do?" Alex: "Yeah! North, South, left, and right."

Alex to me: "I want to grow up to be like you."

I'll end with that one for now... more to come later... they are still kids after all.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Redemption Tour

Last night Kathi and I went with another couple to the Jars of Clay concert at Sunset Presbyterian. It was a good evening. Jars did a great job playing music from their new album and some hits of old. Their signature mix of harmony and acoustic guitar sounded amazing through Sunset's recently updated sound system. I really enjoyed hearing them live. The first time I saw them play live was at the Anaheim Pond and the sounded horrible. I don't pass blame on them but on the sound tech's and sound system. They sounded small in a huge arena. Last night was total redemption, they blew me away. The hymns mixed with a little rock n' roll was sweet.

The concert was opened up by former member of Caedmon's Call Derek Webb. He stood alone on stage with his acoustic guitar and sounded wonderful. I enjoy his music very much. He is a storyteller with a guitar.

Sara Groves came up next with her husband on percussion and a bass player. She was introduced by her two sons... heartwarming. I was familiar with only one of her songs. I enjoyed her more than Kathi did.

Throughout the concert all three of the musical acts promoted Blood Water Mission. This is an organization started by Jars to help fight the HIV/Aids Pandemic in Africa. Their aim is to provide clean drinking water through local wells to help decrease water born disease and infections.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

"War and Peace" of the Soul

Last year I came across the following exerpt from a book and thought I'd share it with you. I love stuff like this.

Five years ago I came to believe in Christ’s teaching, and my life suddenly changed; I ceased to desire what I had previously desired, and began to desire what I formerly did not want. What had previously seemed to me good seemed evil, and what had seemed evil seemed good. It happened to me as it happens to a man who goes out on some business and on the way suddenly decides that the business is unnecessary and returns home. All that was on his right is now on his left, and all that was on his left is now on his right; his former wish to get as far as possible from home has changed into a wish to be as near as possible to it. The direction of my life and my desires became different, and good and evil changed places…

I, like that thief on the cross, have believed Christ’s teaching and been saved. And this is no far-fetched comparison, but the closest expression of the condition of spiritual despair and horror at the problem of life and death in which I lived formerly, and of the condition of peace and happiness in which I am now. I, like the thief, knew that I had lived and was living badly… I, like the thief, knew that I was unhappy and suffering… I, like the thief to the cross, was nailed by some force to that life of suffering and evil. And as, after the meaningless sufferings and evils of life, the thief awaited the terrible darkness of death, so did I await the same thing.

In all this I was exactly like the thief, but the difference was that the thief was already dying, while I was still living. The thief might believe that his salvation lay there beyond the grave, but I could not be satisfied with that, because besides a life beyond the grave life still awaited me here. But I did not understand that life. It seemed to me terrible. And suddenly I heard the words of Christ and understood them, and life and death ceased to seem to me evil, and instead of despair I experienced happiness and the joy of life undisturbed by death.

- Leo Tolstoy

Tolstoy, Leo, What I Believe, Introduction, trans. Aylmenr Maude, in A Diary of Readings, ed. John Baillie (New York: Collier Books, 1955), 38.
Happy Birthday Jen!

Love you!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Jack Attack

This is kind of a rip off of the Chuck Norris thing but as a fan of "24" I had to post it 'cause my brother asked if I would.

Note that some are direct rip offs, some are dumb, some are crude, some are blasphemous, but some are absolutely worth reading the whole list for.

1) If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2) If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
3) Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
4) Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
5) Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
6) Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
7) Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
8) Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
9) 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
10) Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
11) Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
12) Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
13) When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
14) If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is youĂ‚… well amigo, you're @#%$.
15) Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
16) When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer @#%$ hates lemonade.
17) In grade school, a little boy punched Kimberly Bauer, and Kimberly ran home to tell her dad. That little boy's name? Stephen Hawking.
18) Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
19) No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a @#%$" in a sentence and lived to tel- 20) In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
21) Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
22) As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
23) Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
24) If you are still conscious, it is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.
25) If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
26) Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
27) Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
28) Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
29) If you send someone to kill Jack Bauer, the only thing you accomplish is supplying him a fresh set of weapons to kill you with.
30) Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
31) If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
32) After arguing over what was the better show, 24 or Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris went to attack Jack Bauer with his trademark roundhouse kick. Jack Bauer caught it.

I want to be Jack Bauer when I grow up... no Chuck Norris... (Wack, pow)... okay... Jack Bauer.

Valentine's Day

Each couple celebrates today in a different way. Sure there are the standard amenities - cards, flowers, dinner out, etc. My wife and I don't do too much. Early in our relationship we did the dinner out thing and it always ended up being more trouble than fun. Besides, we celebrate our love for each other daily ;-).

Tonight is special because we are letting our kids stay up past eight to watch American Idol. They always ask, so tonight we are caving.

If you want to know more about the history of Valentine's Day go here... it is more than a Hallmark holiday... or at least it used to be.

PS - I did leave a card on the table for my wife this morning, not a funny card, but a sentimental mushy kind. After work I bought her flowers. After all I do love her so.

Friday, February 10, 2006

I heard that there is some sort of sporting spectacle on today... opening ceremonies of some sort. Does anybody know anything about that? or does anyone care?

All I can say is go Maureen Brunt!!!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Chuck Norris part duex

I found the source of the Chuck Norris funny and want to give credit where credit is due... check out the web site

Unlike the list I edited from the email, the website has a bit of language and crude references.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Chuck Norris

The following is an edited (for vulgarity and stupidity) version of one of the funniest emails I have seen in a long time... enjoy.


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of
himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the [heck] down.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park here.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Super Bowl

I have nothing to say...