There are times when I think I'm a patient person but days like today make me wonder.
Why can't God just tell me something. In a voice. A real voice that I can hear. Give me something, something I can grab onto or something I can run with. It's not like I'm just waiting around for something to happen for me, I've been trying to be proactive but nothing is coming of it.
I've got a great family, a beautiful wife and kids, a comfortable home so I really don't have much to complain about but I do. Maybe too much. Maybe that is what brings me to the precipice of impatience. I don't know. I just want some change. Change in the things that bum me out. Change in the thing that occupies my mind.
In the Bible people had to wait forty years. I can't imagine that. Forty days feels like a lifetime these days. For now I lean on my hope in Him and that he has a plan.
The paradox of insular language
1 year ago
6 comments:
Oh and He does! Just remember, it is a still small voice (thanks to Jesus) not the pillar of fire. We pray for you daily :)
If I might make a suggestion: when I feel that call for change, for something new, for adventure - and I know my life is good and I don't want to take any of those good and wonderful things AWAY from it (I am wise enough to know I am just restless somehow). I try learning something new - a new hobby. I don't know you, so you may have many. But taking a class in some area that you were always curious about (leatherworking, furniture building, pottery) or volunteering somewhere that is a hobby that is just YOURS (community theater, a local garden project, etc.) can be very rewarding. It gives you a sense of change. Because a man with a family does not have a great deal of excess time, you will find that many classes for adults only meet once a week and many volunteer opportunities don't require frequent presence (most community theaters will have building projects they do on weekends, performance venues welcome volunteer ushers and it means getting to see shows from out of town at no cost from a unique perspective, local non-profits are glad for any time spared for them - even if it's only an hour or two a week that you are in their world!).
I also think it makes something feel new and adventurous if you do it on your own - and it would give you something new to come home and tell your wife and kids about. A new part of your world that you can talk over with them.
I would say to think about any interest you have never pursued - I'll bet there is some way to make that interest a unobtrusive hobby and a little window into a world that is different from your every day life! :)
(also - found you on Beyond the Pale. You rock. Thank you.)
Do something drastic, turn things upside down, change is a necessary evil. When I felt like that I left CA and moved to Oregon. I know it's easier when you are single to just pick up and do something like that BUT your family will support you no matter where life takes you all. Take a risk, make a change, JUMP! Heck go get another tattoo :)
Thank you Marisa, you are wise and kind. I am actually starting a couple new hobbies that should be fun. I'll post about them once I get rolling. Photography has always been a love of mine and I'm working to get back into doing more of it.
Krista, a jump just might happen soon. We'll see. I wish a new tattoo would solve it all but it won't. Hope to see you soon.
Also - since I cannot say it on BTP without causing a fuss - ::chortle!:: Your last comment was awesome.
I am going to bookmark your site and make you one of my regular reads so I can find out what nifty hobbies you have planned! I REALLY relate to the feeling of restlessness, it's something I struggle with at times.
Thanks Marisa. I think your analysis of that guy was spot on. He was never going to bend or think, he was just there to antagonize.
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