Dear Allergies,

We've been together for almost 41 years and it's about time we talk honestly. I'm tired. Tired of the way you make me feel. All the tears I've shed and itches I've scratched over the years has finally taken its toll on me. I'm done. Calling it quits. I think it is time for you to move on. I'd say "it's not you, it's me" but that is a lie - it is most definitely you.

I know this may be hard for you to take and it may come as a surprise but that is too bad. When you leave I will feel no sense of loss or remorse, that is how far I've come in my disdain for you. Our relationship is done, kaput, over! I won't miss the running, stuffed up nose or the itchy eyes. As a matter of fact there is nothing you bring to the table that I will miss.

So I am asking that you pack your bags and hit the road. There is no need for goodbye's, no last minute sneezes, and no explanations - just go.

Your host,

Brian

PS - While you're at it, why don't you take your friend Asthma with you.